Pride & Prejudice

I feel incredibly blessed to live in this beautiful country rich in history and culture and filled with green trees, rolling hills and pebbled beaches.  There really is no other place like it.  I have always seen myself as British being born and raised here, however as soon as I open my mouth to say hello I am reminded of how un-British I really am.  I am constantly having to justify my nationality and explain how a British person could possibly have an American accent.  Yes I am British and American and yes I grew up in England and the States.

When I was about 13 and living in the States I was talking to a lady in church who was asking about where we had come from and what brought us to North Carolina.  After explaining our dual nationality and how we did end up there she replied ‘Oh, so you really don’t have a home then’.  Ouch.  She had no idea what she was implying with that one sentence, but it has always stuck with me. I wasn’t angry or crushed to tears, but I was hurt.  Why would she say something so hurtful?  What’s wrong with being raised in two countries?  Absolutely nothing.

As I write this I’m sitting in a very gorgeous English Manor drinking tea from a beautiful bone china tea set.  Pannelled wood walls surround me with crystal chandeliers and a grand piano next to my table.  I am instantly transported back to the Regency era and as each lady walks past I imagine them in gorgeous flowing gowns with their hair tightly curled and pinned into place wearing lace gloves and white ribbons.  It reminds me of Pride & Prejudice and how even though our customs, laws and clothes have changed I realise how little our mindsets have.  We may no longer be racist but prejudice still remains.  

We become prejudice towards how people dress, talk, drink their tea, wash their laundry, spend their money, cook their food, what hobbies they enjoy and on and on it goes.  What does it all mean?  There are over 7 billion people on the planet and every single one of us is created completely different.  God is the God of diversity and unity.  He makes all things new but work together in one Spirit.

But just like in the Jane Austen novel let love overcome Pride & Prejudice.  My prayer today is that we will put aside our culture and traditions and look to God and take on his culture and mindset.  To be able to love one another as Christ loved us we must take on His nature and put aside our own.  We all have pride and prejudice but Christ’s love overcomes.

 Our citizenship is in heaven so let’s be of one mind united in thought and purpose. Phillipians 3:20, 1 Corinthians 1:10

The Big Gesture

A note of advisory – this post is for married couples only.  You’ve been warned!

I know that Valentine’s Day is like marmite.  You either love it or hate it.  When I was single I used to roll my eyes at all the romantic fluff on the telly, but as soon as I got married it became a sacred day in our year.

For me the best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to do some extra gesture to show your love for each other.  For example, if your man despises Valentine’s Day because it’s just a marketing ploy to steal money from his wallet with overpriced cards and absolutely mandatory roses than why not find a free way of expressing your love to him.  And likewise husbands, if your wives are just waiting for you to come home and sweep them off their feet that day, give it a go.

So guys think real hard about your wife and find one thing that would just make her day.  Would it be not having to cook and wash up, coming home from work early and putting the kids to bed or maybe going out for a movie in the middle of the week.  Perhaps something as simple as adding some music, a candle and a bottle of wine to your dinner that evening, walking through the door sweeping her off her feet and kissing her until she melts like putty in your arms – are you getting the picture?  Show an expression of love that is a little over the top, a little extra-ordinary and bam! – you’ve made a big romantic gesture.

Now ladies I’m gonna be real straight with you.  If there’s no sex involved on Valentines’ Day it doesn’t matter what else you do to show your man you love him, they’re going to be disappointed.  One of the easiest ways us wives can show a gesture of love for our husbands is spicing it up in the bedroom.  By being the initiator on this one day of the year you can seriously make your husband feel like superman.

If you give it a little thought you can find a way to express your love meaningfully, not expensively.  So go ahead and enjoy each other.  Find a new way to celebrate your love this Valentine’s Day.

A Little Less Romance, A Lot More Love

I remember Valentine’s day when I was 15 and single.  I was half way through high school, living in America at the time, and had just watched my oldest brother get married and my other brother get engaged.  I had reached that stage where I was getting that ‘when will it happen to me’ feeling.  And then Valentine’s day came and, of course, with zero prospects I was going to get through the day watching romcoms and eating any unwanted chocolate gifts.

When my dad got home from work that day he came in holding a dozen crimson roses that he lavishly bestowed upon my mother.  But then what happened next took me totally by surprise.  My dad gave me a valentine’s gift!  Not roses or chocolates or an overpriced hand crafted card, but a Starbucks gift card and the new Josh Groban CD.  I mean, who needs a teenage boyfriend when you can drink Starbucks while listening to Josh Groban??  I felt so incredibly loved by my dad because he thought of me on that Valentine’s day and not just my mum.

Now fast forward 10 years later and I’m married and 4 months pregnant with baby number four and have absolutely no interest in Valentine’s day.  I mean my body was literally using up all the love I had received from my husband to create yet another baby and I was really not in need of any extra love – please, no more!  So my gracious husband told me we didn’t have to go anywhere and we could just watch a movie together and he would get some nice dessert.  Now he was speaking my language!

But seeing the season we were in my oldest brother and his wife decided to share a little bit of their love and spent half a day turning the living room into a romantic restaurant just for us.  There were dangling fairy lights surrounding a table just for two complete with flowers, candles and champagne and a lovely steak dinner. After dinner we went to our bedroom to find our TV set up in our room with a selection of DVD’s and a divine chocolate dessert next to the bed.  I was in heaven!

These Valentine’s days have been special in my life because it was couples sharing love beyond their own marriage.  So let’s be a different kind of Valentine this week and share a little less romance and a lot more love to those around us.

Happy Valentine’s xx