How To Be a Wife And a Mother

How To Be a Wife and a Mother

Do you ever find it hard to kiss your husband hello at the end of the day when he comes home from work?  Do you get annoyed every time he gives you a proper hug that you can’t escape from?  Have you lost count of the number of days since you last had sex with your husband??

Our marriage came before children and it will remain after they have all grown up.  We need to always keep our marriage a top priority.  Motherhood is a full time job and one of the most exhausting jobs there is.  But it doesn’t mean we get given a ‘get-out-of-marriage for free’ card until your kids have left the house.  We have to continue to maintain a healthy marriage throughout motherhood.

Having a healthy marriage will create a healthy family.  When there’s insecurity, resentment or dissatisfaction in our marriage it reflects in the whole family. Family life can get pretty full on and some days all our physical and  emotional energy can be completely sapped well before dinner time.  So how do we muster up the energy for our marriage at the end of the day??

Here’s a few things we try to stay on top of in our marriage whilst raising our four kids:

1. Reevaluate priorities and make changes

This may sound like a cliche but it’s so important.  If something is not working then you need to change it!  Not having enough sex because you’re too tired all the time?  You need to go to bed earlier and get at least 7 hours of sleep and then wake him up with a nice surprise!!  We constantly talk through any issues in family life and discuss how we can improve and what changes need to be made.

2.  Have lots of sex

This is the most important thing you can do as a mother.  Making love is the best way to show and tell our husbands that we love, honour and respect them and are making them our priority.  When we stop making love to our husbands it can make them incredibly insecure and feel useless as a husband and a father.  Connecting through intimacy brings a security to our marriage.  Husbands can so easily feel that the only thing they’re needed for is to bring home a pay cheque. Sex is serious affirmation for husbands.  It doesn’t matter how you feel about sex as a wife, just know that that is how they feel and will always feel about it.  Without sex in the marriage they will feel like they’re failing.

3. Spend time with God

Again this may sound obvious, but spending time reading the Bible (not just bible studies, scripture of the day, or blogs), praying and listening to the Holy Spirit will give you focus and encouragement for the day.  When our eyes are on Him all our ‘issues’ disappear – amazing.

4. Let your husband be a husband

Men are called to be the priest of the home, but so often us wives don’t give them the opportunity to fulfil that role.  We take it away by disciplining the kids all by ourselves, hearing from God for our husband and showing him that we can do everything all by ourself.  This can make the husband feel useless and flaunting how well we take care of the kids, the house and them, and that they couldn’t make it one day without us, only makes it worse.  Let your man be a man!  Let him give direction, instruction and protection.

5. Remember to Laugh

Going on dates is sometimes just not an option when we’ve got young kids, but staying in and having fun is always a great night.  My husband always knows how to make me laugh and it really is the best medicine.  Watching a comedy, having a tickle fight, making fun of our horrible days always releases any stress of the day and connects us.  This is something my husband had to teach me, but it has really changed my life.  He’s shown me how having fun can be helpful.

What’s one thing you can do this week to improve your marriage??


I’m going to be making some changes to the blog over the next couple of weeks.  I’m doing it myself so there will be no big reveal but don’t be alarmed if things are a little different.  And if you can’t find anything let me know!  I hope you enjoy seeing some new things here.  xx

15 thoughts on “How To Be a Wife And a Mother

  1. This is a really great article on marriage with really valuable information for any wife. I’m really happy I found this on the Thrifty Thursday link up!

  2. I keep reading posts I love on your blog! Love this – this past year adjusting to being parents has sometimes been challenging, and I often feel pulled in different directions – I want to give all my attention to the baby, but also to my husband, and then there’s the housework, and family, and friends … it’s good to get our priorities straight. Thank you x

    • Hi Megan, so glad you’re encouraged by the blog. It is always a huge juggling act with so many different kinds of relationships in our lives all going on at the same time. But as women God has given us the ability to manage them all with grace and integrity. Keep putting Christ firs and with him at the centre everything else is in His care. Thanks for sharing! xx

    • Thanks so much Judith! It’s a huge privilege and honour to be a wife and a mother but it is a big learning curve at times. Blessed to have the Holdy Spirit helping me along. Blessings x

  3. This is a great post. I’m stopping by from Daily Devotions. After reading the first couple, I was thinking the wife that has problems doing this is a wife that does not have her priorities in the right place. Then I remembered a time when I once was here chasing after my own dreams. God-centered lives and marriages must come first; everything else falls into place after that.

    • So true Kim. With God at the centre everything else is in order. But with new babies we can easily get did tracked and overwhelmed. Thanks so much for sharing! Blessings cx

    • I agree! So much of out lives is going with the ebb and flow but it’s good to know when to catch your breath. Even just having a cup of tea while baby sleeps is a happy moment in my day. Be blessed

    • I agree. You have to prioritise your marriage. There will always be laundry to do, but your husband is only home for so many hours in the day. Make them count! Love that you can ignore ‘work’ to focus on relationships. So important to not let guilt creep in – serious romance killer. Thanks for sharing. xx

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