This is one of those things that varies so greatly from couple to couple. For some women there are legitimate medical reasons why they need to abstain from having sex during pregnancy. But for the most part its all down to us momma’s on whether we really want to or not.
In Corinthians we are told that our bodies belong to our husband and that we should not deprive our husbands. This rule does not stop applying during pregnancy. I know our bodies go through huge changes in pregnancy from weight gain to severe nausea, but for the most part our ‘down there’ regions are still working fine. In fact many pregnant women experience a surge in arousal due to the increased hormones and blood flow to this area of the body. But as your baby and body grows you will need to get more creative as you just won’t fit together as you did before.
I know that there are a lot of us who do not get this extra special dose of ‘love’ during pregnancy and just shudder at the thought of being touched, breathed on and asked to do some ‘work’. But as women of God we must live by the Word. In our culture today we like to make sure men are completely aware of every hardship we have to bear, of all the extra work we do and how easy they have it in life. But this is not how we are told to treat our husbands in the word of God. We are told to honour our husbands, come into agreement with them and help meet their needs.*
Meet their needs – our husbands may have many needs but they can’t all be met with food. And they don’t go through ‘cycle’s’ like we do so there is literally no rest for the weary when we find ourselves pregnant. So I want to ask you – what are your reasons for saying no to sex during pregnancy? Is it medical or mental?
For us women our desire for sex is mostly controlled by our heads and not our hearts. We have to be mentally ready for sex, not just physically. So take the time to get your head in the game and your body will follow.
If you’re nervous or scared that having sex during pregnancy is going to be harmful to baby in any way, all you have to do is ask your doctor or midwife at your check ups. And your husband may need to be reassured too!
I’m sharing this from personal experience. I had to have stitches after my firstborn and when I asked how long it would take for them to dissolve the nurse said 14 days. So on day 14 we made it happen and never looked back. With each birth the number of days we waited before sex got shorter and shorter and this always helped reconnect us in a season of big change, hard work and emotional ups and downs.
Withholding ourselves from our husbands is a huge rejection and just because we’re pregnant doesn’t make it any easier for them to accept the rejection.
Parenting starts from conception. It’s easy to suddenly want to put baby first, but don’t make that mistake. If you keep your marriage a priority your family will thrive. Putting your children first creates an unhealthy marriage with spoilt children. Don’t put your marriage on hold when you get pregnant.
Married sex is not just sex. It is a divine intimacy created by God to bond two people. You become one in body and spirit. It is a very powerful thing that should not be so easily pushed aside.
* Genesis 2:18
Edit Note: I spoke with a fully qualified medical doctor today, currently working in a hospital in the OBGYN department who confirmed that 2-4 weeks is a safe amount of time to resume intercourse after a natural and healthy delivery. This information is not to place pressure on new mothers, but to reassure of any anxieties and negative responses this post may get. It is always advisable to get clearance from your doctor before resuming intercourse after birth.