I Have a Baby So Why Am I So Lonely?


I was so excited about giving birth to my first child.  We had just relocated a few weeks before our first baby was born and I was to get everything ready for our new arrival. The anticipation was almost too much to bear.  But then a week after she was born there I was in my home – alone.  I thought babies took up every minute of time and energy and I would be so busy I wouldn’t know what hit me.  Well my days were filled with long stretches of silence followed by long stretches of screaming and crying.  And I had absolutely no idea what to do.

When I was in town I would see so many mums walking together pushing their babies along chatting happily with their friends.  Why don’t I have any friends?  Why don’t I have anyone else in my life but my husband and baby?  How does every other mum know each other except me?

I spent the entire first year of my baby’s life in doors in our flat.  I had never heard of a toddler group or a baby rhyme time, there were no invitations to coffee mornings or a stroll in the park. Of all the things people had shared about becoming a mum loneliness was  not one of them.

Fast forward a few years later and I have no mores stretches of silence in my day or any shortage of friends to have coffee with.  My time is now prioritised and organised and I have to sometimes cut back on the friendly get togethers to make sure I can take care of family and home.

If you’re in this place of loneliness I want you to know that you are not alone. Becoming a mum is one of the biggest changes you’ll have in your life and it is a steep learning curve.  But finding others who are in the same place or further down the road of motherhood can help give you the confidence you need to enjoy being at home with your baby.  Here are few things you can do.

Become part of a local family church

Church is family and the best place to find friends who can encourage and support you on this journey of motherhood.  And a lot of churches have toddler groups in the week where you’ll also get a chance to meet lots of other mums.  I cannot stress enough how important being part of a local church is.  It is absolutely vital to raising  a healthy family and will give you the support you need in every area of your life, not just parenting.

Go to the Library

I had no idea that the library provided so many activities for babies!  But most libraries now have baby rhyme time, baby sign language and story times in the week.  This is great learning for babies and again there will be lots of other mums there to get to know.

Family Health Clinic

There is one of these in every town and is where you’ll be asked to go for check ups for baby.  But they also usually have toddler groups, breast feeding cafe’s and toy libraries where you can learn so much and meet lots of other mums.


This is a great online resource that will show you everything that is happening in  your area for babies and toddlers and is also an online community.

We all need to have people in our lives that we can walk together with and others that are further down the road who can show us the way to go.  By reaching out and finding these very important people in your life you’ll gain friendship and insight into thriving at home with your baby.


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