At my bachelorette party the married women bestowed on me their nuggets of marital wisdom. The only piece of advice I remember from that day has stuck with me, haunted me and convicted me many times through my 7 years of marriage. It went something like this – Always look for the good in your husband. It’s so easy to see their flaws but always bring out their best and give grace for the rest. That was shared by my lovely and almost life-long friend, Jo Sherlock, who continues to bring great words of wisdom into my life.
Being in that moment all I could think was – but there’s nothing I don’t like about my husband-to-be, he’s perfect and that’s why I’m marrying him. Sound familiar??? If you’ve ever fallen in love and fallen so far and fast that you are in a complete daze for a year or so you’ll understand what I’m talking about.
We were madly in love enjoying every bit of each other’s company and then the bills had to be paid, the laundry needed to be washed and dinner needed to made – every. single.day. And pretty soon all my romantic fantasies of having candlelit dinners every night staring into my husbands dark chocolate eyes were soon painted over with the reality of married life.
And those words of my dear friend would ring in my ears every time I came home from work, pregnant, tired and hungry and hear ‘what’s for dinner?’ You want to know what’s for dinner? I’ll tell you what’s for dinner, a whole lot of nothing, because that’s what you deserve!
Don’t worry, I never actually said that to my darling husband, but I certainly thought it more than once.
You can start off with the same opinion about everything and then down the road you suddenly have to compromise on every little detail because you can’t stand the dirty clothes on the floor and he can’t handle the lofty demands of colour coding the laundry. Always, always, always remember to look for the best in your husband. If you’re having a short fuse moment where the monologue in your head is too long to finish while you count to 10 then here’s a thought: stop looking at your husband and start looking to God. We can never expect our husbands to change their ways and hearts if we are unwilling to be changed ourselves. Let God do a work in you that will bring you to a new level of love and respect for your husband.
When you’re picking up those smelly socks off the floor just pray for your husbands feet to carry him far in success, when you’re screwing the lid on that toothpaste – again – pray for your husband to receive a ‘fresh’ revelation from the holy spirit today. Turn your complaints into prayers and before you know it you’ll be loving rather than complaining.